Pen To Paper

Pen to paper, I’ve lost the words 

To tell 

To say 

To describe 

This abstract feeling that comes  

When I know that I really don’t 

Know anything at all; 

When I look at beauty and all I see 

Is sadness. 

When I look at the mirror and see 

Blankness 

Void 

Emptiness 

Catastrophe 

Gloom 

It’s hard to stare at the ocean 

And not want to feel the sweet saltiness 

On your less sable skin. 

It makes you think of many things, 

Melted ice-cream on your dry lips, 

The taste of snowflakes on your warm black tongue, 

The drowned children in the village stream, 

The barren guava tree swaying in the wind, 

Death 

Pleasure 

Coital bliss 

Magic 

God 

The afterlife. 

And then, you slowly let yourself go 

Down 

Down 

Down 

Till your feet the ocean floor meets 

Till your breath the heavy waters cease 

Till your body takes no more 

Then slowly brings your spirit 

To the Creator’s door. 

Pen to paper 

I feel it again; that urge to drift 

The urge to let go even though I know I’m not capable 

Of letting go. 

So I put my pen to paper, my mind to concentration 

And I write these colored feeling 

Black-blankness and space 

Red-love and revolt 

White-peace and regret 

Green-life and death 

Blue? 

Pen to paper 

I hope I have found solace 

In this blue ink.